Seafood Choose-Your-Own-Adventure!!!

For whatever reason, you find yourself traveling through Korea and your stomach begins to growl. You suddenly realize you haven’t eaten anything in ages and ages. Three hours at least. After acknowledging this fact, you come to one inevitable conclusion. You’ve got to stuff your gullet, and fast. One hand shading your brow, you briefly scan the horizon. You hear the squall of distant seagulls. What ho! You remember that you’re in a coastal city, and so the prospect of a seafood feast quickly rises in your mind. You notice a half dozen goodly-sized restaurants within a few minutes’ walk. You quickly narrow your options to two eateries, sitting side by side… 1. The first one looks like it’s a run-of-the-mill Korean BBQ, replete with an array of beef, pork, chicken, and duck cuts. 2. The second place has a huge and garishly-painted fish leaping over the entrance – that’s a good sign that they specialize in seafood. At which restaurant will you eat?

1. Why did you pick the BBQ restaurant? You’ve eaten BBQ before, and you just wrecked the whole flow of the narrative. Dude. Go back and pick the second place.

2. Seafood! Excellent choice! You originally chose this restaurant over the copious other seafood dens because of the nimiety of sealife swimming around in buckets outside the front door. That’s a pretty good sign of freshness. As you walk through the door, the wisdom of your decision is supported by the appetizing smells wafting from the restaurant’s interior.

I ate that one. And that one. And... I think that one over there.

You settle down at a table, awkwardly wondering if you should hail the waitress or not. The dilemma is solved when she quickly comes up to you and rattles off a greeting in Korean. Stymied, you smile and nod and point at a few pictures on the menu. There are two or three items which particularly catch your eye. At last, you decide to order… 1. Prawns. 2. An assortment of shellfish. 3. Octopus. Which do you order?

1. You decide to play it safe and order a dish of prawns. Little do you know, it will bring new meaning to the words ‘fresh seafood’. After you point it out on the menu, the waitress smiles and rushes off through the front door. She returns shortly with a big plastic bucket of prawns. Most of them are four inches long or so, and they’re jumping all over the container. Your waitress dumps them all into a large pot sitting atop a portable gas BBQ at your table. She grabs a few prawns, calmly lops their heads off with a pair of scissors, and offers them to you on a plate. They are very large, very raw, and very very active. Will you eat them? 1. Umm… OK maybe I’ll try just one. 2) No. No. Just… no.

1. Fortes fortuna adiuvat, baby! You tentatively try and pick up the prawn to deshell it. It kicks in the air and weirds the hell out of you. Taking a deep breath, you try one more time. OK, you’ve got it in your hand now. After a few very awkward moments, it has been successfully deshelled. The prawn, meanwhile, still very adamantly refuses to be taken without a fight. You pick it up again and try to figure out where to take the first bite. You take a timid nibble. It’s not that bad, really. You eat a bit more. The entire ordeal, you reflect afterwards, has been very unsettling.
2. Whhhha…? You’re afraid of a few headless shrimp? Go back to Sleepy Hollow, Ichabod! Seriously, though, I can’t blame you.

The first of three courses of prawns!

Regardless of your choice, the rest of the prawns remain in the cooking pot, which contains nothing else but a thick lining of salt on the bottom. Your waitress seals it with a lid and turns on the heat. The prawns jump around in such a way that you may never think of popcorn the same way again. Fortunately, their demise is quick and hopefully relatively painless. They swiftly stop moving and turn from grey to a neon orange color. Your waitress comes back after a few minutes, takes the lid off, and starts cutting off all the heads with scissors – these will be eaten later (the heads, not the scissors). You pick up a prawn, deshell it clumsily, and pop it in your mouth. Though only seasoned by the salt in the pot, it tastes delicious! You eat another, and then another. You’ve soon amassed a small mountain of shells, testament to both your hunger and the prawns’ flavor.

You smack your lips in satisfaction – but wait! It is not over yet. Silly foreigner. It’s time to eat the heads. After removing a bit of the shell from the first head (you do so quite proficiently, as you’ve by now had a lot of practice), you pop it in your mouth. Though it’s got a different texture than the body, it’s still pretty good. Eating the eyes is kinda weird though, you think to yourself. Nevertheless, you manage to finish most of the heads as well. You’re now full and satisfied after a delicious meal. Mission accomplished! Now go to option 4. at the bottom.

2. Aha! Though you don’t recognize all of the shellfish in the picture, you’ve enjoyed clams and oysters in the past, so you’re pretty sure that this choice will be a safe bet. Your waitress disappears through the front door and quickly returns with a cornucopia of bivalve goodness. Still dripping from their buckets of brine, she piles all the shellfish onto a grill in the middle of the table and flicks on the BBQ underneath. You stare at them hungrily, watching them cook. For an appetizer, your waitress returns with a small dish of what look to be periwinkles. They are very tiny, and you’re sure you’ve seen them hanging about on rocks at the beach before. Will you try some? 1. Sure, why not. 2. I’ll pass.

Bivalves are your friends. Unless you're allergic to them.

1. You pick one up, and it almost slips through your fingers. It’s smaller than you thought! With a shrug of your shoulders, you bring it to your lips and give it a suck. The little bivalve inside comes loose and slides right down your throat. So small that you barely tasted it! That wasn’t so bad…
2. Wimp. We’re not talking any more.

She sells seashells by the seashore. She sells sheshell - damnit.

At last, the rest of the shellfish are done! You start with some clams, mussels, and oysters. Familiar territory and all that. Though not seasoned with anything, they’re still delicious, with a delightful BBQ taste from the grill. You’re not entirely used to chop sticks yet so you have a bit of trouble picking them from their shells, but you manage to cope. Next, you decide to be a bit braver. You notice a few conch-like shells that would have been at home in Lord of the Flies if only they were a bit bigger. You’ve got to hold these guys down with one hand in order to pick out the meat, but they’re still searing hot! You mutter a curse. Noting your frustration, your waitress brings over a glove to shield your hand. Now appropriately armoured, you take on the conch once more. Though packing a lot more meat than the mussels and clams, it still tastes very similar, which is to say, good. Your gluttony is almost at an end when you notice that a few choice shells still remain on the grill. Scallops. Score! With great enthusiasm, you pick them off and gulp them down. Double plus good! If you were wearing a belt, you would unbuckle it for want of stomach space, and if you were wearing a hat, you would take it off in thanks for a delicious meal. Mission accomplished! Now go to option 4. at the bottom.

Aside: Did you know that scallops can 'swim' through the water?

3. The waitress nods and ambles out the front door. After a short time, she returns with a few baby octopods in a bucket, which she takes into the back room. She returns with the octopods on a plate, very much uncooked, and for all intents and purposes, very much still alive. Though they’ve been cut up, the nerves in the tentacles make them wriggle like worms on the plate. If you’re from a Western country, then it’s probably fair to say that you’ve never had something quite this… vivacious on your plate before. You steel your own nerves, tentatively pick one up with your chopsticks, and lift it to your mouth.

Author’s note: Yeah… I’ve never actually eaten this, so you’re on your own now. After you down the octopus, go to option 4. at the bottom.

4. I hope your imaginary hunger was sated in some way, or at least that you learned something from this adventure. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and this adventure is no exception. Or is it? All of a sudden, you feel an uncontrollable desire to scroll to the top of the blog and start your adventure OVER AGAIN! What MADNESS is THIS? Are you STUCK reading and rereading an AWESOME blog about a fictional SEAFOOD adventure for ALL eternity? Yes probably. Bon appétit!

A muse… um… about museums!

Lately, my students have forced me into an unsettling realization. My generation’s advantage to growing up in the digital world is swiftly growing obsolete. I’ve always considered myself pretty tech-savvy. Maybe I don’t know how to overclock my CPU or build a PC from scratch, but I’m no luddite (a term which is frustratingly misunderstood, and here I am perpetuating its misuse. So it goes.). I was monitoring a ‘book club’ at my school, wherein I was helping students print off book reports to do. I was having trouble printing the reports from online, however, until one nine-year-old girl came up and solved the problem in ten seconds flat. Gee, um, thanks. Cue walk of shame. Granted, the entire website was in Korean, but… I’d thought I’d learned my way around it by then. That’s not even mentioning how frequently one of my eight or nine-year-old students will come up to me to show off their new Galaxy Pad or iPhone, while I’m still pecking at my old-school flip phone like a hungry chicken. Tis humbling.

I have noticed that my students all seem to have the same repertoire of questions they like to ask teachers.

1) “Teacher, you LOVE?”, whilst holding up their hand and looking pointedly at their ring finger. Read: “Teacher, are you married?”
2) “Teacher, what is blood type?”… um yeah. I don’t really know where they got this one, but it’s a strangely common question.
3) “Teacher, why you furry like monster?”… I guess a five-o’clock shadow is a foreign concept to them.
4) “Teacher, why are you no… (at this point, they point their arms like a machine gun and make shooting sounds)?”

Plaza of the War Memorial.

Apparently (though I perhaps ought to have learnt this by now), all Korean men must enlist in the army for two years. As such, the students are curious as to why this weguk teacher has never been in the army! Many of them are astounded when I tell them that no one has to enlist in Canada, let alone the fact that Canada barely has a military to begin with, at least compared to South Korea’s rank as 6th largest army in the world. It’s strange to think that in Canada I lived only an hour from the world’s longest undefended border. Now, I live only a few hours by train from the world’s most heavily defended one. Stranger still, to think that I’m now in a country that is technically at war with it’s neighbour (at least semantically speaking), and has been for sixty-odd years.

Recreation of a Korean turtle ship, excepting the TV.

This leads me to my new topic. Museums (please forgive my lame pun in this post’s title)! I’ve been continuing doing my circuit of museums in Seoul. One of the best things about museums here is that (at least all the ones I’ve been to) they are all free! Props to governent funding (got that, Canada? *wink wink, nudge, nudge*)! Yesterday I visited the War Memorial of Korea (read: War Museum). I thought it was very well done, covering Korea’s military history from prehistoric times to the present day (they even had an exhibit about the sinking of the S Korean battleship last year). Highlights for me were the medieval weaponry, such as the hwacha, which could fire dozens of arrows at once (made famous on Mythbusters). I hadn’t realized gunpowder was used in Korea as early as 1104 AD. I also appreciated the nimiety of textual documentation on the Korean War, such as the original documents covering the North Korean invasion, various ammendments about UN involvement, and the armistice papers. What rubbed me the wrong way, though, was when I discovered a giant funpark for kids in the middle of the complex, containing the highest concentration of inflatable buildings I’ve ever seen. In a war museum. Just a wee bit tacky.

UN resolution letter on the day of the initial N Korean invasion.

I also recently visited the National Museum of Korea.  It’s a pretty neat place. It has a huge ornamental garden with lots of pagodas and tombs to see, before you even enter the museum proper. The museum itself is apparently the sixth largest in the world, area-wise, which is pretty impressive. It suffices to say that it took a while for me to walk through. It features predominantly Korean history, all the way from the paleolithic period through to the end of the Joseon dynasty and the early twentieth century. Tons and tons of Buddhist paintings and statuary and ceramics. Personally, I have a bent towards ancient weaponry, of which there was thankfully enough to sate me.

Giant pagoda inside the National Museum of Korea.

From a co-teacher at school, I learned that there was an honest-to-goodness English bookstore in Seoul, and so I went on a mission to find it. It’s located in the Itaewan (foreigners’) district, and it goes by the terribly awesome name of ‘What the Book’? I went in just to browse, and I came out with six books. Graphic novels! Sci fi! New releases! Nietzsche for three bucks a pop! I was pleased.

After four months of sweltering in sauna-like humidity, the wait is over! It is finally autumn! The leaves are changing colors, and the days are sunny and brisk. Nice and bracing. Though apparently it’s uncomfortably cold by the standards of some of my Korean colleagues, I quite fancy this colder clime. Huzzah! Up until last week, however, the heat was nothing if not tenacious. This summer was unexpectedly warm, and the heat wave lasted longer than the Korean Power Exchange had predicted. As such, on one particularly balmy day, huge chunks of Korea lost power because of the overuse of AC! Most of Korea, apparently, is powered by one company, and while it’s not entirely on the same grid, significant parts of it are. Much of Cheonan lost power, as did Seoul, and many other large cities up and down the country. It happened in the middle of class, so we had to use flashlights and our auxilliarly lights to teach class for a good two hours before regaining electricity. I was fine with it – I probably would have broken down in tears if my PC had been in some way fried during the outage though. Just sayin’.

What the book??

In regards to cuisine, I have continued broadening my horizons – this time, on the insect front. Silkworm larvae, to be precise. I cannot vouch for them being in any way delectable, but I’m obviously speaking with a Western bias. It’s strange that insects are so frequently regarded as anathema to Western cuisine, when really they are more plentiful and much cheaper than their vertebrate alternatives. Regardless, the larvae were marinated in some spicy sauce, so I didn’t really taste them. Crunchy on the outside, with a bean-like consistency inside. Worth a try just to say you’ve eaten insects, at the very least.

Korean phrase of the day:

“Sungsangnim” – ‘teacher’.

Calvin & Hobbes: Korean Edition

I have apparently been neglecting this whole blog thing recently, and so I figured I should update it before it ends up on the Lost Isle of Forgotten Blogs or something. Anyway, I’m going to eschew the regular post and let my kids do the talking (or writing, as the the case may be). Thus.

As any self-respecting Monty Python fan would admit, I love a bit of randomness injected into my humour. Korean kids might well be next-gen Python fans, because they’ve got randomness down to an art.

Case in point:

We’re talking about jobs and careers in class, and I ask what everyone wants to be when they grow up. Amidst a flurry of kids shouting ‘doctor!’, ‘vet!’, and ‘teacher!’, one boy at the back of class tentatively raises his hand. When it comes to his turn, he says ‘I want to be a NOODLE!’ with what I take for complete honesty.

In another class, we are on a page in our book where the students all put stickers on appropriate regions of the page. In the middle of this activity, one girl walks up to me with a strange grin on her face. “Teacher,” she says, “Only seven stickers…” I ask her where she thinks her eighth sticker might be. Licking her lips, she says, “Teacher! Eating!”

I think I believed her.

In another class, I gave each student a bunch of blanked out comic strips taken from Calvin & Hobbes and Dinosaur Comics. This is their story (I apologize for the graininess of some of the shots):

What? No!

Hahaha! Kneel my feet under!!

...and I'm confused.

Korean kids will say 'crazy' at whatever chance they can get.

Your face.

I'm a verry Italian!

Well the kids are always hungry in class, but still...

He he he

I am at a loss at the fact that he knows what 'I am at a loss' means!

...but all Korean kids have phones!

I hope you have enjoyed your short stay. Please come back soon! A more proper post will come shortly. Hopefully. Relatively speaking.

Indiana Nate and the Palace of Gyeongbokgung

A long, tired screech of metal and the subway grinds to a halt. I yawn, crick my back, and shuffle off with the rest of the passengers, backpack hung indifferently off one shoulder. Yes, I try to convince myself. It will be a good day. Lots of sights to see, things to do. But… did I really have to get up so early? It’s the Monday of a long weekend, and I’m already in Seoul at 9:30 in the morning! I yawn again and drag myself onto the nearest escalator. I stand in place, stupefied and heavy-lidded. Museums are all well and good, but come on! Bed and sleep are also good things. Oh well. I glance at the yellow and blue sign above me – half in Korean, half in English. Gyeongbokgung Station, Exit 5. Nice! I’m almost there. I blink several times and step off the escalator.

I am met by six grim-faced policemen standing at perfect attention, shields, body armour, and helmets donned. Well this is interesting! There are more men standing guard at all the escalators and exits into and out of the station. Curious!

I shrug to myself and walk past. I no longer feel drowsy. I walk up the first flight of steps leading to the street. At the top of these stairs is another contingent of police, maybe twenty-odd men. Dressed all in black, they sit on their shields, looking bored but intimidating nonetheless. Curiouser and curiouser!

Up one more flight and I emerge under a leaden sky. What ho! Even more riot police! There are now dozens and dozens of them – probably a hundred all told – standing at strict attention. With their armour, shields, and helms, their similarity to a centurion of Roman legionaries is not lost on me. With so many riot police, all with such stony expressions, I would be well within my rights to be slightly concerned. In fact, I’d be stupid not to be. But I’m not, really. Intrigued? Yes. Anxious? No. In my defence, the other commuters exiting the train station seemed to pay them no mind, and my destination was literally around the corner. And so, retrospectively regretting having not taken any pictures of them, I leave the policemen to their day as I go about mine.

Looking through the first gate to downtown Seoul.

The rest of my day was action-packed, and thankfully riot-free. In fact, there were no riots at all; I expect that, since it was Korean Independence Day, the police were merely being overly cautious. Still, it was an exciting start to the day!

Looking through the second gate into the interior of the palace.

My first destination was Gyeongbokgung Palace. It’s an ancient palace in downtown Seoul, and it’s absolutely massive. Originally built in the 1300′s AD by the Joseon dynasty, it was burnt and rebuilt numerous times during Korea’s conflicts with Japan. The bulk of its current incarnation was restored during the last century, but it’s impressive nonetheless. Completely circumvented by a fortress wall, it sprawls over a huge area of Seoul. It took me about 3 hours to walk through it, and some of the areas were closed that day! Three huge gates lead into the royal court hall, near the heart of the palace. It’s a huge structure with beautiful architecture. Behind this lie innumerable smaller buildings and offices and shrines within a maze of walls. The palace grounds themselves are a strange juxtaposition. If you look southward, you can see downtown Seoul practically tumbling over the fortress walls. Look northward and all you can see are hills and forest.

Myself in front of an island shrine.

Though the weather was rather dismal, there were still plenty of people exploring the site. I probably could have streamlined my exploration of the palace grounds with a free English tour, but I didn’t want to wait the hour and half for it to start. Maybe next time. That being said, I still explored it pretty thoroughly. Also inside the palace grounds are two fairly substantial museums – the Korean Folk Museum and the Korean Palace Museum. The entire package cost only $3, and the museums were actually free. As a bona fide history buff, the palace was awesome, and some of the artefacts and structures old indeed. A few of the forty-odd royal tombs of the Joseon dynasty were on the palace grounds – they are part of UNESCO World Heritage. If UNESCO’s in on it, then it must be good!

Some of the older ones are from the Joseon dynasty, which ruled Korea from ~1400-1900 AD.

After I’d glutted myself on history to a sufficient extent, I decided to move on to my next stop of the day – the Korean War Memorial Museum. And so a half-hour jump through the subway later, I emerged once again – this time, no riot police in site – at the War Museum. Something equally unexpected was happening, however. Well, it shouldn’t have been unexpected, but I was obviously just out of it that day. You see, I’d forgotten that it was Korean Independence Day, and so – quite logically – there was a big festival being held on the museum grounds! Figuring this wouldn’t be the best time to check out the museum, I decided to peruse the festival instead. There were tons of volunteers all over the place, and they were only too happy to show me around and acquaint me with all the different stalls and events. I can now say that I’ve worn hanbok (Korean traditional garb) and pounded rice cakes with a massive wooden hammer. Can you?

I'm not sure of it's original function, but now this structure serves as the Korean Folk Museum.

There was also a parade later on in the day, which had some neat sections to it. Lots of musicians and traditional dancing. After that, however, my feet were on the verge of declaring war on the rest of me, so I decided to call it a day. An hour later, I was awaiting my KTX ride home, and eating a delicious bulgogi chicken burger at KFC. And that is the story of my day. Ironically, I can safely say that I inadvertently participated more in Korean Independence day than I ever have for Canada Day! Go figure.

Festival at the Korean War Memorial Museum.

Other than that, I’ve not much to say. It’s quite hard to believe that I’ve been nearly six months in Korea. Well… in some respects at least. I can remember arriving at Incheon airport as though it was last week, but when I think of all the school events I’ve participated in, and all the kids I’ve taught, it seems like a lot longer. Time’s a fickle bugger. Einstein, eat your heart out.

Some of you may know of my fondness for sensitive plants, a few of which lived long and healthy lives in my dorm room at UBC. These plants are really neat in that their leaves are sensitive to touch, and so if you brush up against them, they fold up to protect themselves. In any case, I discovered that they live wild in Korea – the other day I saw a sensitive bush as tall as myself! Much fun ensued.

Living in Korea has lent a lot of credence to the clichéd sound of chirping crickets, whose sounds I heretofore had thought were greatly embellished. Not so! They are so loud, and in such great abundance here, that I can put a soundtrack to my awkward pauses merely by opening a window! To be honest though, they have really great harmony.

Cicadas are also extremely prevalent here, and I really get a kick out of their droning sounds. Whenever I go for a run, the cicadas in each tree go silent as I rush past, and then start up again after I move away. I guess they’ve got a bit of stage fright. That being said, some cicadas can apparently sing as loud as 120 dB – enough to technically cause hearing damage!

Korean phrase of the day:

“bulgogi” – ‘fire meat,’ a delicious meat dish traditionally cooked over a fire, hence the name.

“mulgogi” – ‘water meat,’ AKA fish!

The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to Korean Cuisine

“The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is a very unevenly edited book and contains many passages that simply seemed to its editors like a good idea at the time. One of these supposedly relates the experiences of one Veet Voojagig, a quiet young student at the University of Maximegalon, who… after a night drinking Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters with Zaphod Beeblebrox, became increasingly obsessed with the problem of what had happened to all the ballpoints pens he’d bought over the past few years…”

This is not his story.

Instead, due to financial restraints and general editorial lethargy, the below article has been substituted. It is of lesser quality, lesser length, lesser wit, and most certainly lesser interest to its readers. Indeed its brevity is probably surpassed only by that of its readers’ attention spans, and so without further prevarication…

When hitch hiking, flying, paddling, snorkelling, hip-hopping, or in any way traveling anywhere in the known universe, one thought should always be first and foremost in the traveler’s mind. This, of course, would be the availability of the closest towel, and the ease with which one can procure said massively useful item. After the towel has been obtained, worn, and used in any number of ways, the second thought in a traveler’s mind should be this. Food. Where is it? What is it? And most importantly, do I really have to pay that much for it?

In response: in restaurants and stores, any number of things, and hopefully not but you never know.

If, for whatever reason, one finds oneself moseying around the Sol planetary system, and decides to hang a left at Venus and take a detour to Earth, one might very well find oneself in the vicinity of South Korea. If the traveler does not have their babblefish handy, then there is a rather large chance that they will not understand the language. This is unfortunate, but not uncommon. A few useful phrases in Korean can quickly be learned to expedite the eating experience, and prove that you’re as polite and amazingly together as they come:

1) “kamsahamnida”

2) “anyo”

3) “nay”

4) “mashisseoyo”

5) “chuseyo”

6) “mul”

7) “yogiyo”

First of all, DON’T PANIC. That is, DON’T PANIC if you can’t understand the above seven words. That’s normal. You might want to panic a little bit if you’re hearing voices, though. Unless, of course, that’s normal for you, in which case please keep on hearing them and don’t bother with the panicking. In any case, here is what the words mean:

1) “thank you”

2) “no”

3) “yes”

4) “delicious”

5) “can I have ______”

6) “water”

7) “come here” (as in hail a waiter)

These words, obviously, are useful in many situations, and undoubtedly no small number of kings, queens, presidents, and reconstructive nose surgeons have built their careers around them, but in this particular case, they are also very useful for eating food in Korea.

Once one has learned, studied, and written at least three doctorate theses on these terms, at three separate universities, one will be ready for the next step in Korean culinary practice. Chop sticks. For travelers from  farther abroad who are not familiar with common Earth utensils, these are really rather like they sound. They are sticks, and when you like, you can sort of chop with them. Koreans use metal chopsticks, which many newcomers have trouble with at first. Japan and China, in comparison, more commonly use wooden ones. Chop sticks, just like oil painting, wood carving, achieving high scores in Tetris, and blowing bubbles in milk, is an art that must be practiced to be achieved. Once this bothersome practice is out of the way, the real fun can start!

Choosing the food.

Korean food is exceptionally delicious, especially if the reader is of a species whose senses include that of taste. Being surrounded on three sides by water, this small country is rich in seafood dishes, most commonly using squid, octopus, mussels, oysters, shrimp, and tuna in its meals. Aside from seafood, kimchi is a word nearly synonymous with Korean cuisine. It is a dish of fermented vegetables existing in almost 200 different varieties, including cabbage, radish, cucumber and onion, though cabbage is by far the most common. Unlike politicians, kimchi is extremely popular, so much so that people will eat it for breakfast. Many Koreans even have special fridges to ferment their own kimchi. A popular kimchi dish is kimchi jjigae, or kimchi soup.

A large portion of Korean foods, kimchi and kimchi jjigae especially, are rather hot. And by rather I mean really, and by really I mean extremely, and by extremely I mean that it’s so mind-bogglingly tongue-numbingly hot that you could make necklaces from your sweat beads and sell them to black market art dealers in Alpha Centauri for no small sum. As well, rice is substituted for a spice-quenching effect instead of the commonly-used yogurt, for dairy products are fairly non-existent here. And so, with that in mind, travelers whose tongues are of a lesser constitution may want to pack an extra in their bag just in case.

Those travelers disinclined from eating fermented vegetables would do well to read this next part, as it is all about eating foods which do not include fermented vegetables. A popular and insanely delicious beef dish is bulgogi. Thin strips of beef are marinated in the bulgogi sauce and then barbecued. After this, it is served – much like an eviction notice but probably much more pleasant. Another popular meat dish is galbi, which is consists of marinated and barbecued beef short ribs. As is quite typical in Korean restaurants, these dishes are often barbecued right in front of the patron – either in a sunken barbecue pit in the middle of the table, or on a small portable barbecue. Essentially, if one does not find these dishes delicious, one might want to get one’s head (or heads) examined.

Tteok is one of many types of Korean rice cakes, and its pronunciation has nothing whatever to do with the sound of a grandfather clock. It can be served as a snack or dessert, and comes in many shapes, sizes, and colours, all of which are tasty. Its texture may not appeal to all eaters, however, as these treats can be rather chewy. This would be an especial problem if one does not have teeth.

A Korean dish similar in appearance to Japanese sushi is gimbap. These rice and seaweed rolls are stuffed with all sorts of goodies, including tuna, crab, cucumber, carrot, pepper, beef, egg, and radish. It must also be noted that they sometimes contain spam. PANIC SLIGHTLY. To reiterate, gimbap rolls sometimes contain spam, that most loathed of artificial meats, whose presence should only be suffered during songs sung by hallowed British comedians.

In the end, of course, if all else fails and one is in a hurry to get back to frolicking and towel-wearing, one can always eat ramyeon (ramen) instant noodles. They are quick, cheap, and salty, and so, obviously, delicious!

Editor’s Note: At this point, the writer of this article either ran out of time, or interest, or quite possibly both. We are left only with the vague admonishment “Say no to spam”, and an empty towel rack.

- In honour of the incomparable Douglas Adams, without whose brilliance this blog post would never have happened, and without whose books most readers of said blog would be hopelessly confused. Well, to be honest they’re probably confused anyway. I apologize for the inconvenience.

…in which Nathan goes to Seoul. With superfluous details!!

“What is this?” you whisper, your eyes widening in surprise. “Nathan is posting his second blog in (almost) as many weeks? This is madness!”

“Madness?” I reply calmly. “This… is… SPosed to be a joke about the movie ’300′, but it’s not really going anywhere.” My apologies. Anyway.

So what’s been going on in the life of Nathan lately? Allow me to make like Atlas and shrug.

Not a whole lot.

As I’ve probably said in the past, I’ve determined to explore Seoul more in the future. Last weekend, I took the train to Seoul again and trecked around Insadong, a well-known market district with lots of contemporary and traditional Korean crafts. Insadong itself is one main street (pedestrians only), with many tributaries flowing off of it. There were shops selling knicknacks of all types. I was especially intrigued by those sporting specialized caligraphy equipment and hand-made paper. Some of these shops specialized just in ink brushes, with the sizes ranging from as thin as a pencil point to nearly as thick as an elephant’s leg! On the outskirts of Insadong were gathered dozens of palm-reading stalls where you could get your future read for you. Apparently these are common in many parts of Seoul.

Starbucks, or "Seutohbahkseu cahpee". Forgive my translation.

Seoul is also really intriguing for all the history it displays. Just a few blocks from Insadong is a small city park in which rests an ancient pagoda encased in glass. This 10-metre tower dates from from the 500′s AD or so, from what I can remember. There were a lot of monuments devoted to Korean Independence in the park as well. Being a museum buff, I’ll definitely have to explore some of Seoul’s museums soon!

A neat building in the distance, as seen from an alley in Insadong.

On the train back from Insadong, I discovered that there is a ‘cafeteria’ car on each train, for people who want to study, eat, or just find a place to crash if they bought the slightly cheaper ‘standing only’ train ticket (like me). Also in this car is a small arcade and a nore-bong area (Korean karaoke)! At the train station itself, I discovered what is quite possibly the coolest vending machine ever. No, it didn’t sell junk food or pop or fruit or sandwiches or anything so banal. It sold books, man. Books! From a machine. Can you say ‘awesome’? (disregard how this link conflicts with my choice of words. I just like the comic: http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1984).

Palm reading looks like a pretty big business here.

In other news, I have been learning the pros and cons of insects in Korea.

Pros:
1) Mosquitoes are no more prevalent here than in BC.
2) Spiders seem to be of a much lesser size (and thus frightfulness) than their Canadian brethren.
3) Beetles are a big thing here. Literally. Stag beetles (the big kind the size of your palm) are so popular here that many kids keep them as pets. And when I say ‘many’, I mean that more of my students have pet beetles than pet cats, dogs, or hamsters. Apparently these beeetles are even found in the wild, though I’ve not been lucky enough to see one.

Cons:
1) There is a particularly annoying species of centipede here that loves freaking the bejeezus out of you when you come home at night. They’re no longer than 2 or 3 cm, but they’re fat and unnervingly fast.
2) I don’t know if it’s merely a result of the poor ventilation of my apartment, but I’ve been plagued almost since I got here by an armada of tiny moths. Well, it’s not so much of a pestilence as an annoyance, as they don’t typically fly near you. Nevertheless, it’s irritation to walk into the shower and notice ten or twelve moths oggling you from the wall.

…and that’s about it.

Oh wait.

Korea also has Asian Giant Hornets the size of your thumb whose venom has the potential to cause fatality in normally healthy adults.

I saw one the other day.

This was before I learned of its reputation. Not being especially partial to hornets at the best of times, I made a… bee-line… across the street. Intrigued by its enormous size, I Googled the huge Hymenoptera and discovered the details of its existance. Of course, for the sake of a story, I’m blowing this out of proportion. Thankfully, despite their notoriety, these Brobdingnagian bugs are faily uncommon, and chances are good that I shan’t make another’s aquaintance any time soon. If you’ve some free time, or even if you’ve not, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsT-Zshzix4. I think it’s an amazingly ingenious defence mechanism, in a grisly sort of way.

A pagoda is basically a stratified stone tower. This one dates back 1500 years or so.

One last thing. Japanese apricot/plum tea is the new chai (‘maesil’ tea in Korean). By which I mean, of course, that it is just awesome. Try it. It may just be your cup of… you know…

Korean phrase of the day:

“il” – One.
“ee” – Two.
“sam” – Three.
“sa” – Four.
“oh” – Five.

…Still, I love technology. Always and forever…

Philip K. Dick once asked if androids dreamed of electric sheep. I couldn’t tell you the answer, but if they do, then they probably also dream of going to some place like Yongsan Market when they die. The Yongsan Electronics Market in Seoul is one of the largest tech markets in the world, comprising over 5000 separate electronics shops, big and small. I just got back from an expedition there, and I think I’m a little dehydrated now from drooling over all the merchandise I saw. I kid you not, there are shops literally everywhere you look, and if you can’t find what you’re looking for at Yongsan, then it may not exist yet.

Some outdoor hardware vendors.

I started out by exploring the iPark electronics shop – a bit like Futureshop or Best Buy, but… kind of a whole lot bigger. You have your floor for digital cameras, your floor for games, your floor for notebooks. So it goes. After six floors of that, I found my way outside and across the street and the real fun began. Yongsan Market itself is a positive warren of shops – there are literally blocks and blocks of tiny stores inside, outside, above ground, underground, and on the street. Along one of the main outdoor strips I found the requisite bevy of bootleg movie kiosks. All the movies were dirt cheap, but judging from the binders of titles I flipped through, many of the movies were probably low-quality cam jobs smuggled out of theatres, so I decided not to splurge (I didn’t know if some of the titles they sold were even in theatres yet!).

Myself outside.

Wandering around some more, I came upon the computer hardware ‘district’, where hotdog vendors cohabited peacefully with harddrive vendors. I have never seen so many motherboards in my life, nor did I know that USB flash drives could come in so many sizes and colours. Next, I found myself wandering through the underground maze of indoor stores, where I stumbled upon an entire building devoted to games. An entire building. Virtually endless corridors of shops selling pretty much every sort of game for every sort of system you can think of. I might have cried a little.

Games! Games! Games!

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Don’t get all lubby-dubby on me. Just get to the point – did you buy anything?” you may rightly be muttering to yourself.

I did, but my restraint was much-tried in the process. Many of the vendors were more than eager to lure me into their shops, professing that they had ‘just what I was looking for’. Perhaps. Perhaps not. In the end, though, I succeeded in finding what I was looking for – a snazzy new 1 TB external hard drive with USB 3.0. Yeah baby. I figured I’d get a Samsung, since it – as well as LG – is a Korean brand. When in Rome… or Seoul… or whatever…

Aside from totally geeking out with electronics, I’ve been also trying to learn more Korean lately. I’ve memorized the alphabet, which isn’t much of an accomplishment in itself, since it honestly only takes an afternoon to learn. It was purportedly commissioned by a Korean king about five hundred years ago, to streamline the Korean language to such an extent that everyone could learn it. Up until a few decades ago, Chinese characters were still fairly common in Korean writing, but it was pretty much phased out, and almost all of what you see is now in hangeul – the Korean alphabet. That being said, many Korean words apparently still have their roots in Chinese; they’ve just been phonetically transcribed to hangeul. Many Koreans I’ve met are delighted to talk about their language to foreigners, for I guess not a huge number of foreigners have professed that much interest in it yet. Sometimes, people will come up to you just out of the blue (especially kids… I think they’re excited to try out their English on real ‘wegukens’ like myself). Indeed, today I had a big conversation about Korean and English with a nice chap while on the KTX to Yongsan.

Some guys from one of last semester's classes.

On the school side of things, we’ve started our second semester. Already! The first semester was one of those things that seems to take a long time playing out, but afterwards it seems like a breeze. Some freaky variant of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, I guess. Or not. Regardless, I’m enjoying my classes of second semester so far. In two of my classes there are only four kids, so that’s a nice change. I’m also teaching a wider variety of courses this time, including math, language arts, social studies, and science. This means I get to do experiments!

I’m still discovering tasty new Korean foods as well. I’m really into rice balls right now. Or rice cakes? Anyway, they’re chewy rolls of rice (though they don’t have the same consistency as their chief ingredient) often filled with creams or coated in powders. Many of them are desserts, and they’re quite delicious. The Korean name escapes me, but variations on the shishkebab are very popular here. I pass two or three kebab vendors just on the walk to work, and I’m eating more and more of these all the time as well.

As soon as I called for a class photo, everybody pulled out their cell phones!

Uh oh guys! I just typed my way into a trap with only one possible way to escape!… Dude, I’m hungry. I need to go eat something. And then maybe I’ll plan what to do tomorrow and the next day (it’s Korean Memorial Day on Monday, so I have a three day weekend). Maybe Seoul again?

Korean phrase of the day:

“annyongi keseyo” – This means ‘goodbye’ when you are LEAVING, but the other party is STAYING.

“annyongi kasyeo” – This means ‘goodbye’ when you are STAYING, but the other party is LEAVING.

Variations on a Theme of Teaching

Fact: I have not written a blog post in a while.

Fact: I have no good reason for this.

Fact: Deal with it.

Well, now that that’s out of the way, shall we commence?

After giving my previous blog posts a good ten seconds of thought, I came to the conclusion that they seem to follow a trend of sorts. The first portion of the blog deals with my goings-on outside of school, and the second half deals with my work itself. Let it be henceforth decreed that Nathan of Ehret shall, for the nonce, declare a cessation of this most arbitary of partitions, and shall verily strive in this, his current epistle, to write of but one topic. Huzzah!

That is to say, I haven’t done too much in the way of exploring lately, so I’ll just talk about my school this time.

In fact, I won’t do much talking at all. I’ll let the kids do it for me. I’ve compiled a list of some of the funnier things that my students have said over the last little while. Note that everything below is essentially word-for-word, and my students range from ~6 to ~11 years old at the very most. Enjoy:

Upon walking into class on the Monday after accruing a painful sunburn all over my face: “Teacher, you drink soju??” Note: soju is a medium-strength Korean alcohol.

Upon talking to my class about the story ‘Ruby the Copycat’, and why the character Ruby copies her friend Angela: “Teacher, Ruby is lesbian for her?”

Korean kids love determing the marital status of their teachers, ergo: “Teacher, you have a woman?”

They are strangely amused by my stubble when I don’t shave: “Ooh, teacher furry like animal! GorillaTeacher!”

Some students delight in giving their teachers all kinds of foods, daily vitamins included: “Teacher, eat now. Vitamin makes you strong teacher!”

One student, Alice, was going to her gramma’s house after class: Alice: “I have to go see gramma now.” Me: “Oh, that’s nice! Are you excited?” Alice: “Nooo! She old and scary!”

Scion, upon being asked where he wants to want to travel to: “I would go into the future to see all the future things, and fight very many dangerous things, and I might come back.”

Ross, upon being asked where he wants to travel to: “I would go to Saturn because the ring are very wonderful and I like yellow.”

Favorite phrases amongst all the students:

“So what???” (I’m pretty sure they don’t quite understand the meaning of this one, considering the caprice with which they fling it around)

“Teacherrrrrr!” (an expression of exasperation)

“KoREan, KoREan, KoREan” (a chant, when a student accidentally speaks Korean in class)

“Teacher, my bathroom” (self-explanatory)

“Teacher, give me food” (upon which I respond back likewise)

“Teacher is very handsome!” (when I give them extra stamps at the end of class)

“You are UglyTeacher!” (when I give them extra homework at the end of class)

“NathanTeacher” (…my name)

“Uh-whyeeeeee!” (the kids love to say ‘why?’ instead of ‘what?’ when they are confused)

Teaching has been especially surreal lately, in the sense that only a few years ago I was on the recieving end of things. Now, I’M the one dishing out report cards, parent-teacher interviews, and tests like hotcakes (not that I’ve ever eaten a hotcake, nor does it sound as appetizing as ice cream cake, but you don’t see that being handed out willy-nilly! But I digress…).

One student's short story about sword-fighting at school.

Yes, a few weeks back I experienced my first round of parent-teacher interviews. Thankfully it was by appointment only, so I only ended up talking to twelve parents, but it was still an experience. The parents spoke little-to-no English, and so one of my Korean co-teachers sat in as well and translated both ways. Having a regular parent-teacher interview for the first time would be nerve-wracking; try doing it in a different language! The parents seemed even more nervous than I was. Thankfully, they were all very nice, and many of them even brought us gifts of food!

One student's short story about his perfect day at school. 'Stamps' are what we give for good behavior.

Last week we had our term tests, so we each devoted a good half week to giving all the students their writing and speaking test. The speaking tests were especially tough, because one’s speaking skill is such a subjective beast, and I had to grade it on a rubric at a number of different skill levels. I did learn that the favoured movies of most Korean students are ‘Avatar’, ‘Harry Potter’, and more ‘Harry Potter’. Half the kids even wear Harry Potter brand glasses! I spent all this week marking and inputting all the tests, and am decidedly happy that it is at an end.

An essay from one of my more advanced student's papers.

And so, as I mentioned above, all this heavy-duty teacher stuff has an aura of strangeness to it. Not two years ago, I was the one sitting in classrooms twiddling my pencil, waiting for my prof to assign homework, and dreading my term finals. And now (albeit at a… slightly different education level), I’m the guy in power! I give the test, I mark it, and now I’m the one responsible for their academic well-being, instead of vice versa. Trippy, dude…

And now, my blog at an end, I think I will go and finish off the pack of sushi rolls I bought this morning. I don’t know if they sell these in Vancouver, and I just didn’t notice, but these things are creative! From what I can tell, each roll contains imitation crab, tuna, radish, carrot, a basil leaf or something similar, and spam. Yeah, spam’s kinda a big thing here. Did you know you can buy individually-wrapped sushi rolls in Korea? As in, each one is bite-sized, and wrapped in its own shell of cellophane? And, rather disturbingly, did you also know that you can buy pre-made hamburgers, toppings et al, in the refrigerated section of most convenience stores? I’m talking about mass-produced burgers with a shelf life of weeks. I bet you didn’t know that. But now you do, and your world just became a little stranger. You’re welcome.

Korean phrase of the day:

“Hangeul” – Official name for the Korean alphabet, which I’m currently in the process of learning.

Spelling Bees, Folk Villages, and Radioactive Rain! Oh My!

I sit hear typing this missive, half-musing to myself about whether I’ve somehow obtained the benign and ultimately useless superpower of turning my skin a pretty salmon-pink colour. Wait a minute…

Nope.

I double-checked, and it’s just a sunburn. A humdinger of a sunburn, and one which makes me quite reticent to venture into my shower. Alas. On the bright side, I’ve now got a KILLER watch tan going on. I guess that’s what happens when one forgets to put on sunscreen during a bike ride. The weather has been positively balmy here lately, and I swear upon the Precious itself (gollum! gollum!) that all the flower buds and greenery sprang up over night. That, or I’m just terribly unobservant. Either or. Regardless, the weather has been quite fine, and so it was high time for another bike ride with my coworkers.

I'm still getting used to the fact that ~1000 wan = $1 CDN!

This time, we biked about 20 km to a traditional Korean folk village. Think: one of those ‘living’ heritage sites you’ve all been to at some point (or even worked at, in my case), where you get to walk around and check out all the different buildings and arts and crafts and whatnot. From what I gathered of this place, it recreated the ‘traditional’ Korean lifestyle of the last few centuries, up to 1900 CE or so.

The wealthier residents lived in the tile-roofed buildings, the poorer ones lived in the thatched ones.

Imminent rant:

Totally off-topic, but do you know the difference between BC/AD and BCE/CE? BCE (Before Common Era) and CE (Common Era) have been used in place of BC (Before Christ) and AD (Anno Domini) for some time now, in terms of dating things. But aside from the the names themselves, they are exactly the same. AD 2011 is the same as 2011 CE, except one is more politically correct. Political correctness has its time and place, but certainly not when it’s just a patronizing euphemism like this. Yes, BC/AD is a Judeo-Christian dating system, but so is BCE/CE. Slapping another name on it doesn’t change that fact. If you want to use a dating system with a religious base to it, then fair enough. If you want to use an objective dating system with no religious bent, then… sugar-coating isn’t good enough. Either way you go, say it like it is, dude. OK, sorry. That was totally trivial, but five years of Classical Studies and memorizing dates will do that to you.

Anyway.

The folk village was quite interesting, and thankfully there were English blurbs beneath the Korean on all the didactics. There were a number of different sets of buildings we could walk around, as well as a few activities to check out. One innovation I found particularly clever was that many of the buildings had short stone columns outside them. These apparently functioned as exterior chimneys, with the smoke travelling through a tunnel under the ground instead of up through the roof as in a typical chimney.

At the end of the walkabout, we watched some men make traditional Korean rice cakes. They started with a huge tub of rice, dumped it onto a large wooden table, and proceeded to smash the living daylights out of it (or would have, that is, if the rice had been alive, and had had daylights to be smashed) with massive wooden mallets. It eventually was pulverized into a thick paste, at which point the Rice Troll crept up from under the Village Bridge and sprinkled his magical dust all over the mound of rice. OK, I made that last part up; since we left after it had been smashed to a paste, I had to use my imagination to fill the rest in.

There was certainly some force behind that swing.

Besides sunburns and bike rides, things have been pretty good here. Last week I had to write about 65 progress reports (report cards) for my students. This amounted to about half the students I teach; thankfully, I don’t have to do reports for the other half, as it was spread amongst all the teachers. Even so, 65 is a respectable number, and I was quite thankful by the end that my typing speed was up to snuff. Each progress report entailed a detailed paragraph about the student’s… wait for it… progress, as well as a few simple grades based on participation. I’m glad it’s over.

As well, last weekend our school had a Spelling Bee against out sister school Avalon. It was pretty amusing, and I was amazed at some of the words these kids could spell. I consider myself pretyt good at speeling, but even so, I’m fairly certain I couldn’t spell ‘monotonous’ at age eight, let alone in another language. I did feel sorry for some of the kids, who just completely blanked on their turn, and didn’t say a word. Everyone got awards for participation, though, and the winner even got an MP3 player!

Some neat carvings, reminiscent of Native American totem poles.

I know I’m island-hopping here, from thought to thought, but I never said this blog would be in logical essay format, so bear with me. Anyway, one thing I’ve come to notice about Korea is that the air quality… well it’s just not that good. It’s not terrible – it’s not like you’re breathing in car fumes 24-7 or anything, but smog is a rather omnipresent thing around here, save for on exceptionally windy or rainy days. What made me particularly notice this was the number of people wearing face masks in public. I’d noticed a certain number wearing them in Vancouver as well, but certainly not to the same extent as here. Along those same lines, I suppose it’s fair to mention that we had nuclear rain here recently! That is to say, when it rained last week, there was a slight chance that the rain was slightly radioactive, from the fallout of the Fukashima reactors in Japan. To be honest, I wasn’t worried, because apparently one would have to consume a litre or two of that rain every day for a few decades for any trace of it to show up on tests. Still, it understandably created a bit of a buzz here, and a number of kids were missing from school that day, as their parents didn’t want to risk them going outside. An admittedly concerning event, but still not something that happens every day.

One last thing. For any chronic-downloaders out there, Korea is a paradise. Now my particular internet connection isn’t always the best, and anyone who’s Skyped with me knows that is has a tendancy to cut out, but that’s because I just haven’t got around to fixing the problem yet. That being said, I’ve still managed download and upload speeds of over 2 MB/s, which is pretty darn respectable. It certainly fulfills my needs, at least. Moreover, many connections are much much faster than this. Now I don’t deign to call myself a guru of internet terminology, but if you have ADSL, you have a pretty fast connection. If you have VDSL, then even more so, and VDSL is becoming more and more prevalent here. This, of course, is from my own experience, mixed with a healthy smattering of Wikipedia, so you can be assured it is completely, cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die true. Totally. Just remember: fast internet = South Korea.

Korean phrase of the day:

“weguk” – Me! That is, it means ‘foreign’.

Of Buddha and Other Things…

My bad. It would appear that my blogging has been rather lax of late. This is especially regrettable in that it would have been a great set-up for an April Fool’s prank on the matter; I was, and am, not feeling especially creative, however. Ah well. Regardless, you and I, I think, are both here for the reason. Me! And so without further adieu…

Things have been going pretty swimmingly of late. Doubly so in light of my trip to the aquarium last weekend. As a special school fieldtrip, all the staff and about 40 students drove up to the Coex Aquarium located in Coex Mall in Seoul. It being a sunny Saturday afternoon, we were packed like sardines as we ushered through the serpentine and humid corridors of the sight. Nevertheless, it was a fun time. We were each assigned four kids to chaperone; my guys were Kevin, Patrick, Liam, and William. It turned out that they were all very well-behaved, with a few exceptions when I had to chase Liam down before he got sucked in the churning mass of tourists. The trip was a bit of a blur, as we had two hours to get in and out of the place. That being said, there were some neat exhibits, from Warholesque fish tanks to sharks, manatees, and undersea tunnels. Obviously, my kids were most excited about the sharks.

Kevin, William, Liam, and Patrick with the piranhas.

It was pretty intense, tring to keep all my kids together as well as snap photos for our ‘photo competition’ (which we foundered at), but not quite as frenetic as I’d expected. And in a very welcome and unexpected turn, all the kids were great on the bus as well – no yelling, screaming, punching, or even throwing. They were all too busy sleeping, playing on their phone/DS, or watching Spongebob in Korean. Afterwards, all the teachers went out for dinner at a Chinese place. I had seafood.

The kids taking pictures of sharks with their cameras and smartphones.

I’m pretty used to the daily grind at school now, but things will get more interesting this week as we have to write Progress Reports. This entails writing semi-detailed analyses of 60 students or so (about half the actual number I teach). It will be… interesting! And then at some point soon, we’ll be having parent-teacher conferences. Woah. The tables have turned! For once, I won’t be on the recieving end of one!

He is big. He is Buddha. He is Big Buddha!

This weekend, all the staff from Langcon, as well as its older sister school Avalon, went on a ‘teacher workshop’. This, however, was merely code for ‘we need an excuse to go have fun and party’. We started yesterday by going on a hike to Big Buddha, which is purportedly one of the, if not the, biggest bronze Buddha statues in Asia (just under a quarter of South Korea is Buddhist). Suffice to say, it lived up to its name. Buddha isn’t the only sight to see there, however. There is a whole complex of Buddhist temples, all adorned with incredibly intricate artwork, especially on the eaves. The stone paths around the temples are also lined with a host of what I imagine are prayer tablets.

Looking down at the temple complex from Big Buddha.

We then hiked up past the Buddha and to the top of a nearby hill, there to travel along its ridge for a few hours. The trail along the way is embellished with dozens of great stone ‘pyramids’. These mounds are actually collections of wishing stones placed there by passers-by. Though the mounds are manmade, they felt very organic, and gave a really neat vibe to the forest. In places they are so populous as to almost form a colonnade along the path. Up a little higher is a tiny plateau for meditation and prayer. It is encompassed on three sides by large rock faces. Literally. Each rock wall has a Buddhist figure carved into it. Though there were no information plaques, I imagine they are quite old. There is also a small cave with prayer mats and incense holders a little higher up. Again this is mere speculation, as there were no information booths anywhere, but I gather that this cave is used by Buddhist monks on vigils and retreats. It was all very interesting, and something I daresay you wouldn’t see in Canada.

Some pyramids of prayer stones along the path.

 

After we’d hiked along the ridge of hills for a while, we finally came to a viewpoint (one of many), from which we could see – in the far, far distance – the great skyscraper beside the KTX station.  I live very close to there. After our ‘hike’ (I feel compelled to enclose the word with quotations – it was only a real hike in the way that running to catch the bus is a real run), we went for dinner at Cheonan’s premier duck restaurant. There we had a 5+ course meal of duck, crab (interestingly, eaten raw), and myriad other foods. It was all very good, and cooked in front of us on the traditional Korean barbeque, as seen at Shabusen and other sushi places around Vancouver. After that, we went back to our head teacher Julius’ father’s house to eat, drink and be merry thoughout the night. The next morning, after eating a real Canadian breakfast of French toast with real Canadian maple syrup, we piled in the van and drove back home.

A Buddhist carving on the rock wall, with the monk's cave to the far left.

And so, after an exhausting but fun weekend, I could nearly fall asleep standing up (I don’t know why I said that; I’m sitting down right now). I probably will go to sleep, after watching another episode of Lost, which I have begun to watch again recently. If you have not seen it… please press that glowing green circle on your computer until the screen goes black, find your car keys, and go rent it. Like, right now. Or if not, at least go and play the video game ‘Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood’, with which I have recently contracted a mild obsession. It has the most incredibly detailed recreation of Rome you will ever experience in a video game, from the Colosseum to the Castel Sant’Angelo, to Marcus Agrippa’s inscription on the Pantheon. Seriously.

OK, well that was tangential. I will leave you with my customary Korean phrase of the day. I’m slowly acquiring new phrases, but I really need to pick up the pace. Everyone tells me that if you want to learn any Korean, start right away, else you will suddenly be 6 months into your contract, and have lost all the motivation. This, I assume, comes from personal experience. I must get on this.

Korean phrase of the day:

*Today is a 2-for-1 special!*

“anyo” – this word means ‘no’.
“nay” – counter-intuitively, this actually means ‘yes’.